Rant...

Cuz I have GOT to get this off my chest. Some may ask why I have not gotten Liger Zero 2.0 quad suit done. The only answer I can give is this, Life. Life gets in the way, I had lost a therapist for a good long few months, but before that I was NOT getting the help I needed, this had been going on for a LONG time. I have a new therapist now, and I am learning a lot about myself I did not know. I had not known I have PTSD, and about four other phobias. I had not realized fear has literally been ruling over my life. As I am dealing with all this, I feel am so pressured at HAVING to make this costume. So I have not wanted to work on it, when I am told one feels embarrassed to show up to an event because "I" have not gotten done Liger 2.0, it hurts, makes me start to wonder why I should work on it, on anything, because, and this is to my mind, I am not good enough. This in turn bleeds into other things I have I need to get done. A prize halter I am REALLY late on making... repairing my friend's unicorn, doing the others custom models and halters, finishing repairing and painting my CM pegasus Alborozo. One negative emotion, can turn what should be fun, into a fear, and cause a domino effect, cause and effect result. I just do not want to do anything right now... What should be fun, is no longer fun... I do not need pressure, I do not need negative words cast upon me, for it hinders me and my road to recovery, I need support, gentle coaxing, not teasing, no pressure, but support. I can not climb this massive mountain I have learned only recently lays before me, towering over everything, alone. I need my friends and family, I need love and support and understanding. In time I will get everything done, but not when I am under pressure. Doing art, it should be fun...